Where do I start?!

I definitely should have started this post months ago. I have so many thoughts, that I don't even know where to begin! I'll try to sum it up into a short version of the story :)

I have always been drawn to the orphans of China, obvously since we have adopted from China twice, but I'm talking more than that. They REALLY get to me. I think of those boys and girls in China who don't have parents constantly... When you know about them, yes it is sad. When you actually SEE them, it is hearbreaking!! I had kind of just accepted that I would always be sad for them. I would look at their pictures, pray for them, and be sad for them....

Several months ago, the pastor at our church (Pastor Jim Colledge) was giving a sermon on how we should use our God Given Gifts to serve God. He challenged us to pray, and dig deep within ourselves and figure out what our gift is. Once we figure it out, figure out how to use it!! "Follow God's Will. Your life has purpose! Make a decision and go ALL IN".

I've always known my love for China's orphans was different than others', maybe. But I never thought about that love for them as being a GOD GIVEN GIFT? As I prayed, and tried to push that thought away, it kept coming back to me. I was confused, and a little scared. "How am I supposed to use this gift, if it is a gift? I've adopted already. What..., am I now just supposed to up and move my family to China, to care for the Orphans there?!"  With that thought, I felt peace come over me. I can't even explain it... I immediately knew that was what God has been trying to tell me. That is what he has been preparing me for!

Figuring this out for myself was the easy part...

 Actually, the first talk I had with Jeff, telling him I thought we should move to China went REALLY well too. (Another sign that this is the right thing?). The kids didn't even get upset or nervous about it when I mentioned it to them. They are very excited, and talk about it all of the time. (Of course they question the unknown, but aren't against it in ANY way)

Telling our family has been the hardest. They are all very supportive of the thought behind why we believe this is our calling, and we know they will be 100% supportive along our journey. They do worry about us though. They worry about how the decisions we make now, are going to affect our future. They worry about the kids. They worry about our safety, being half way around the world. They are our family, we expect them to worry! We listen to their concerns, we address their worries and concerns, and we continue to follow God's plan for us. God decides.

I have been drawn to a Christian, American run "Children's Village" just outside of Beijing called Shepherd's Field Children's Village. In just 2 weeks, my middle son (Jonathan) and I will travel there to visit with the director, and of course to give plenty of LOVE to the orphans that live there! I hope to find out if they have any needs for volunteers, and just to find out a little more about how things are run there. I pray this will lead to some answers for me of what I should do next. I'm so excited to start this journey!!

"Ok God, what next?" That is where I am at now... :)

I want to share a few verses and quotes that have given me encouragement as I have started this journey...

~"Your life has purpose"
~"Be who you are. Don't conform to what others expect of you & who others want you to be."
~"Life on the Potter's Wheel: What God (The Potter) is doing in the process of transforming your life, will be life on the Potter's Wheel. There will be pressure, and you will feel it. It will sometimes HURT! But know this.. It is not a matter of how YOU want to be shaped or molded. It is GOD that applies his hand to our lives and he shapes us how HE wants us. When we try to shape our own lives, that is when the pressure comes in. THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO SUBMIT/SURRENDER TO THE HANDS OF THE POTTER!!"
"Following with faith is like having a flashlight in the dark. You walk holding it just 3 feet in front of you so you can see where you are walking, but it is pitch black beyond that. Keep walking and follow the path that God has laid down for you!"

.......All of the above quotes were from sermons given by our pastor, Pastor Jim Colledge.......

Hebrews 11:8 (NIV) By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going"

"Sometimes I want to ask God why he allows povery, famine, and injustice in the world when he could do something about it, but I'm afraid he might just ask me the same question" ~Author unknown

"Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling the secret of who you are, but more often than not of the mystery of where you have come from and are summoning you to where you should go next"  ~Frederick Buechener

So this didn't end up being such a short version ;-) This is the beginging of our journey. Only God knows where we will end up....

~Tammy