My researching and investigating of orphanages, and of different areas of China where we could possibly move has slowed down, since there isn't much I can do with the information that I find right now. It became hard to look at the faces of the orphans in China, knowing how badly I want to be there. My kids at home have kept me occupied enough that I was able to find other things to do with my time easily :). Not to mention that we moved, I started homeschooling Jacob, I had a large yard sale... I could go on and on!!
This week I received a reminder of where my passion of wanting to help these orphans comes from, and why I feel so deeply saddened for them. It took me back to one of my favorite quotes....
"Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling the secret of who you are, but more often than not of the mystery of where you have come from and are summoning you to where you should go next"
Those tears came to me this weeks as a read a blog from a friend that has recently brought her 4 year old daughter home from China. Her daughter has been through probably more than they will ever know in those 4 years. Her adjustment to learning to be loved has been hard. Here is a little of what her mom said...
"I’ve often heard, particularly in the adoptee community that adoption is trauma, loss, a primal wound. I understand (intellectually anyway) what they mean but I have to disagree that adoption itself is the cause of this trauma.
Abandonment is trauma.
Lying alone in a crib for 22 hours a day is trauma.
Hunger is trauma.
Not being loved or wanted is trauma.
Physical and sexual abuse is trauma.
No one coming when you cry is trauma.
The things that lead up to adoption are traumatic and painful and can cause life long damage but they should not be lumped broad brush style and called "adoption".
Adoption is healing.
And THANK GOD there is healing occurring in our daughter right now. Everyday great strides are made.
But, it is a struggle.
One that requires our exhaustive (and gladly given) efforts"
[You can read her entire blog here... www.fiveofmyown.blogspot.com ]
I was also very moved by several of the people that commented on her post. One mother in particular had adopted a 6 year old girl, and was prepared with flash cards to teach her daughter everything she would need to know to adjust from being in China to coming to a family in the United States. She said this about her experience of the adjustment...
"I didn't know I would have to teach her to cry if she was hurt, teach her to laugh if something was funny, teach her to realize if someone was laughing it wasn't at her, teach her that kindness isn't a weakness, teach her what a mother was, etc. ABC's and 123's were way more advanced than what she needed to learn. She had to learn to be a child, our child and learn that we loved her...more than anything."
These are the reasons why my family will be moving to China. We ALL will be God's hands and feet, and make a difference in the lives of several more of these children who need to know love, and respect. We want to be there to comfort them when they cry, and to teach them to be silly. We will teach them of God's love as well. I am glad for the reminder!!